"When you feel like you've lost your center, You must make the time...

and then take the time to find it again."

Time to share some thoughts in my monthly blog letter…so what does a wanna-be “Joy Scatterer” like me say when I’m having trouble finding joy for myself?

Let me first make clear that I’m not looking for pity here, but I’m assuming that you may be able to relate…and maybe even find something helpful in what I’ve recently experienced.

No one is immune to off-periods in our lives when things feel sort of upside-down. Not sure where mine came from…was it the worry over my mom’s illness, pushing myself too hard with work, a birthday with a number bigger than I can fathom, my fender bender and the culprit who fled the scene, getting out of sync with too much travel…or stress over business growing pains…?

Were my stars not aligned, my bio-rhythms out of whack, or am I just thinking about it too darn much?
Plain and simple…I just didn’t feel myself.

Maybe the cause was a combination of all of the above…or maybe there’s just no good reason, but I’ve felt off-center for a couple of weeks now.  And the worst part is the guilt I feel when I’m going through a down time… because I recognize how fortunate I am to be leading a very full life when many others are going through the really tough stuff…

I’m usually a big list maker, pretty driven…and spend my days soaring through tasks, projects, and personal pursuits. But my recent dip in energy, motivation and mood threw me off. I got out of sync with exercise, ate the wrong things, and felt tired. My work, which usually excites me, felt more like…well… work! Even my usual easy-going relationships were being tested. My moods were as unsettled as the weather was – mostly cloudy with some showers and little breaks of sun.

This season of the year is usually when I’m most in love with life, too... so the timing of my slump was off-putting. I cherish spending the last couple of weeks of June at the beach, with some focused time working on my writing and painting, some solitude mixed with family time, a birthday bash and celebration of summer.
Maybe my expectations were just too high…

How to cope?

Here are a few tips that helped me, and may help you, too, if you ever find yourself off-center:

- Talk it out – It helps to share feelings, it’s a little like letting some air out of a too-full balloon. Confiding in even one person can be very calming. When I shared my concerns with a friend, I felt a sense of peace. Whether you are asking for assistance or simply looking for understanding, talking does help.

- Walk it out – While I completely dropped the ball with my exercise schedule (thus more guilt), I did make an effort to go for a daily walk. Even a brisk walk around the block (or on the beach!) can shake you into a new mood and open you to things outside of yourself.

- Write it out – Spending even a few moments each day journaling your thoughts can clear your brain and help to sort things out. In her book, The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron recommends journaling 3 pages of free-flow writing each morning. While I can’t often make that goal, I do find whatever writing time I can fit in to be extremely helpful.

- Listen to music, read a good book, watch a good movie (or even some “bad” TV)  –Anything that transports you can do the trick. I enjoy music, but I’m not one who is always attached to headphones. During my slump, listening to music and reading some books really helped soothe my soul and lighten my mood! Good medicine.

- Meditate, pray, or take time to “just be” – There is no substitute for solitude, for the stilling of your mind and for opening yourself to answers.

- Self-medicate – OK – this sounds bad, but what I’m talking about here are simple treats that can lift your spirits. Ask yourself  “What one little thing can I plan to do today that will help make me feel better?” It may be as simple as making popcorn, a half-hour of reading, a bubble bath, a glass of wine or a shopping expedition. The key is moderation, of course, but these small rewards can go a long way.

- Accept – Give in to your feelings and let them work through you. Not everyday is a joy-filled experience.  Understand that even these down periods do have a purpose in our lives.

- Forgive yourself – Everyone is allowed to have a bad mood or an unproductive period. The fact that there is always someone who has bigger problems than you doesn’t negate your own experience.

- Do something nice for somebody else – Take the emphasis off of yourself. It really is true that by scattering joy, some of it naturally returns to you. Even sending a card to a friend gave me a good vibe.

- Gratitude – A gratitude exercise where you list all of the things that you do have going for you in your life is always a big eye-opener! My list runneth over!

- Lighten-up – “this too shall pass” - need I say more?

As July begins, I am happy to report that I am feeling much more optimistic now, and back to finding the joy in things both big and small. I’m getting excited about my work again and the world is looking so much brighter. My slump taught me some important lessons in patience, acceptance, forgiveness and reminded me to keep my expectations in check…and those are valuable lessons indeed.

Happy Summer to you all!!!